Tuesday, April 15, 2008

My Top 10 Sidekicks

First things first... it was a nice 80 degrees yesterday, and today it is snowing. Hard. If winter were a person I would kick him/her so hard in the shins and say "We're THROUGH!"

Anyway, as I said before, I decided I needed another humorously interesting list to keep things up. Lists of any kind are just plain great. Why? Because even stupid lists like this spark intense debate and reflection. As I thought of this list, and asked others for their opinion, I noticed that everyone thought long and hard about it, and took it unnecessarily serious. How great is that?? I found it incredible. So, here comes my official list of...


To start, what IS a sidekick? I did look up various definitions, but basically it's a companion, a chum, and/or buddy-ole-pal that assists a partner in a superior position. In fiction specifically, its a less important chap that makes the hero look so much COOLER by comparisson. Sometimes he's there to make us laugh (I found most of my favorites are funny guys), and a lot of times he's just there to ask the hero questions so he doesn't have to talk to himself in order for us to get what the heck is goin' on. Sometimes these dudes are so good at their jobs that us normal folk love them even more than the upper-classmen they're assisting.

Obviously the most famous sidekick is Robin from Batman. That being so obvious, I didn't include him. But, I did include these others...enjoy.

Sidekick to: Zach Morris

~ Screech had it good. He hung with all the cool kids. I mean, his best friend was the coolest kid in school! So, why then was Screech always the biggest DORK at Bayside High? Simple, really. To keep Zach looking that much cooler for babes like Kelly Kapowski (!!!), etc. If only having an uber-dork sidekick did the same in real high school...or did it?

Sidekick to: The Tick

~ Arthur was a former accountant. He was dressed like a huge moth. He wasn't very tough, but he was smart. Arthur is unique in that he is one of those sidekicks that makes the hero look like an idiot. But, that was his purpose. The Tick was hilarious because of how stupid Arthur made him look. Well done, son.

Sidekick to: Kevin Arnold

~ Pfieff was basically a more believable Screech. Kevin Arnold wasn't necessarily the coolest kid in school, but he sure looked awesome when hangin with Paul. Lets face it, Winnie Cooper wasn't about to choose Paul over Kevin. Paul was pretty awesome in his right.

Sidekick to: Frodo Baggins

~ Sidekick? Sam friggin saved all of Middle-Earth! Frodo would've shrivled up into a hairy ball of Hob-gooblit if it twern't fer Sammy. Besides, he damn near made me cry like three times when I first saw Return of the King. "Come on, Mr. Frodo! I can't carry it for you..but I can carry you!" >Sniff<

Sidekick to: Wolverine

~ The movie version had Rogue's character in Jubilee's position. But the comics had Jubilee as the punk kid tag along to everyone's favorite X-Man, Wolverine. She was never that tuff, but she was funny, and she brought out the soft side of the ole Canuckle Head on occasion. Any big fan of Wolverine has a soft spot for the Jubster.



Sidekick to: Peter Pan

~ I've always thought Tink was so cool. What's cooler than having a tiny, feisty, (and HOT!!) pixie as your best friend? I mean Pete's got it all; eternal youth, the kid can fly, a horde of punks following your every move...and to top it off, the hippest Fairy in all of Neverland worships him. Tink is definately a loyal sidekick, drinking poison and what not (among other things) for her hero. The last time I was at Disneyland I bought an illustration book of the Disney Fairies. Infact I used the cover of it for Tink's picture...Don't hate! Diddny always had the goods.


Sidekick to: Han Solo

~ Chewie tears people's arms off when he loses at chess. But he's still one loyal and friendly giant. Him and Tink are similar in that you can't understand a durn word they say. But when he lets out that Chewie growl, you know he mean bidniss. He's also unique on this list in that he's not only a sidekick but a bodygaurd. How many times you think Han Solo would get his trash whooped with that mouth of his if it weren't for the huge walking carpet behind him? Nuff said.


Sidekick to: Spongebob Squarepants

~ Here's the chap that inspired this list. I was watching everyone's favorite pineapple dwelling fry cook, and realized Patrick had to be one of the best sidekicks ever. At least in my humble opinion. Infact, I dare say it was Patrick that converted me to the show. He's one of the funniest cartoon characters ever, and he makes even the Sponge seem smart, which is quite the task if ya ask me. Can ya think of a better starfish to be on this list? Can ya? I can't.


Sidekick to Jerry Seinfeld

~ Georgie likes the bananas! Who doesn't like George?? Well, besides most people in the show. He is a complete loser, but he's 1/4th of the greatest sitcom of all time. Kramer doesn't count as a sidekick...he's a lone wolf. But George, he could be ANYONE'S sidekick. He just chooses to latch on to Jerry. He gives Jerry someone to make fun of, and we all think it is funny. I think one reason I love George is because I think I am basically a slightly better looking version of him.

And my number 1 sidekick is....

1.) KURIRIN (or "Krillin">wince< )
Sidekick to: Son Goku

~ Hooray! It's the Charlie Brown of superheroes! I have been a Dragonball fan since I was a red sweatpants wearing 5th grader in Japan. Kuririn makes the top of my list because despite having his arse whipped but good numerous times, he's still always seen by the side of his best friend Goku. He's bald, he's short, and can't hold a candle to the most of his friends (let alone their enemies) but he's always on the front line and loyal to the end. All that and he doesn't have a nose. Plus, he's funny to watch. He defeated one villian by farting point blank into the baddy's face. He's a perfect example of a great sidekick, and my very favorite.
Well, I actually had a small list of "real life" sidekicks we had fun cooking up as well, but I suppose they will serve well as another post for now. Until then...


Megan said...

I like your list of side-kicks! I'll be checking back for the "real life" sidekicks.

Brendo2008 said...

Nice list of sidekicks. I agree with the "Return of the king" I was also balling watching that movie. Chewie is my most fav. "Will you get this walking carpet out of the way!"

Rob and Bri said...

Hey Chuckykirk! It's Brianne! Remember me? Looks like you're still livin it up with your music and art. Now that I'm in the bloggin world we can keep in touch. By the way, nice list. Very interesting. I figured you'd have something from Peter Pan in there.

crystal said...

Oh Chris, I loved the list until I got to your number 1 because I have no idea who that is. I was totally getting pumped with each sidekick and couldn't wait until I saw what numero uno was and I should have known it was going to be some japaname thing. He does sound funny though, I mean really, who can overcome a nemesis by farting in his face???

Sidenote: I'm really glad that you pointed out the fact that x-men totally substituted Rogue for Jubilee's part. In the cartoons Rogue was this sexy vixen who Gambit totally had a thing for, plus she could fly. Anyway, thanks for bringing that up. I love the X-men movies, but every time I watch them I get a little irked by "rogue" and the fact that sexy Gambit is no where to be found.

Bean said...

Dude taht was awesome! Thanks for some serious flash-backage. What about the most worthless side kick of all man? He has got to be in there! Robin from Batman. He is frikin cool cause he is the biggest waste of space ever created. First of all his name is Robin! Robin!!! C'mon now! It is considered a girl name or a red breasted pansy bird that eats worms. Either way you loose! I also like Brick from Anchorman. He is a great side kick and who wouldnt want a sidekick who can throw a trident into an enemy's heart??

I am Dayn'll! said...

I know he doesn't have a special place in the gross, oozy corner of your decrepit heart, but Ron Weasley deserves to be on here. It's probably just a Harry Potter fan thing, but Ron was the most lovable jerk you'd ever meet! And I know he's not a classic, but HUD from Cloverfield was the best Dayum documentor I've ever seen!

mindyk said...

I love Tinkerbell and George. Castanza is the best sidekick because he makes everybody feel better about his/her life.

Bird of Paradise said...

Chewie who could ask for a getter sidekick and then there was SMEE CAPTIAN HOOKS sidekick and during the 70s cartoon version of GREEN LANTERN he had a alien sidekick named KIRO who abtained this alin bird named TIFI

Anonymous said...

Tony Blair was my favourite sidekick.